yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
