what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
