Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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