does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
