we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you didnt know i had herpes?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
