I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
