I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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