Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
