Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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