why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
