Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
