drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it's like iHOP with fire
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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