Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
operation harelip BJ is a go
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
