i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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