hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
