you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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