i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
