I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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