Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
