I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Swine flu is the new snow day.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
