So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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