In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so let's talk penis.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
