small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
