pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
