Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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