u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
