I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
