so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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