lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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