Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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