I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
