I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i think i just lost a toe
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
