we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
what is it with giant penises always finding me
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
