It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
