fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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