All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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