I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
All the doctor said was why
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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