you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
