oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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