i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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