I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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