How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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