we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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