i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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