Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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