Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
