When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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