Well apparently he's into motor boating.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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