Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
