i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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