last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
