i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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