yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
