watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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