I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
