yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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