I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
