Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
