I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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