Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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