Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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