I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
