erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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