just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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