Having a random hookup so left but love u
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The beer is more important than you right now.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
